Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Right in the bang of the night, 

When my heart was fluttering low, 

I popped up with a question in my mind – – – 

If you’re my friend or foe… 

Igniting a fire that no one can douse down within me, 

You had changed me for whom I had been before, 

Transforming me into a character so strong, 

That I recognise myself no more. 

Slaying every wound that comes my way, 

You’ve protected me like a nurturing seed, 

Neither letting me get burnt under the scorching sun, 

Nor quenching my thirst with more water than I need. 

Hammering me like a hot, iron rod, 

You’re now shaping me into the mould 

That would emerge victorious at all phases, 

Turning every metal with a hue of gold. 

Illuminating my heart and soul always 

You’ve made me your Angel, come what may, 

So, I’d like to thank you on this auspicious day—

My dear Phoenix, wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day! 

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Twentieth Birthday! 

I was a toddler laughing around 

Teaching nature what she wanted to show 

Laughing and jumping all the while, 

Carefree, childlike, having no foe. 

I became a extrovert in my teen days 

Not being afraid of being provoked 

Because I knew well how to tackle 

And cross that, on my path, were purposely invoked. 

Nearing the end of the teenage life, 

I became a secluded soul so much so 

That I lost my true identity for once 

Letting fate overpower my boldness at one go. 

But, no more will I be afraid to fall 

As,  in falling,  we seek the path to swim at bay, 

And bloom as the most beautiful flower on the earth – – – 

This promise I make on my twentieth birthday. 

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Insomniac… 

It was past midnight. 
I was flipping through the pages of my journal, looking for a particular day’s entry. After about ten long minutes of frantically searching, a paper, wrapped in a handmade envelope  fell out from nowhere. 
I lifted up the piece of paper. 
I was hoping to discover an old bill or something of lesser significance. However, what was contained inside the envelope took me by a sharp, stinging pain. 
It was a torn out page from a Classmate’s exercise book. On it were written the lines which I did not require to read through  even once because I knew them by heart. It was the most confusing confession that could have  been received by the luckiest girl in the world. The sheer honesty and purity of the words of love unknowingly let a fresh set of burning tears roll down my moistened cheek leaving me insomniac… 

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A tiny, green light… 

A tiny, green light lits up my dark room, 

My eyes dart towards that direction, 

My fingers slide through the broken screen, 

To check once again the notification. 

My eyes droop down as I wait for him, 

Typing his heart out at lightening speed, 

I see him online and he sees me, 

Yet, we both stay quiet widening the gap between us indeed… 
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I love you…

The raindrops kissed the deserted roof,
Waking me up from my deep thoughts,
I took out my umbrella, flicking on the light,
Rising from bed while my heart and brain fought…

It’s been two years since we’ve been friends,
Sharing with each other our joy and grief,
And, now, a minute without talking to her seems like a month,
Though the time in between my text and her reply is quite brief…

I have never seen her in reality,
Nor have I heard her deep voice,
Yet that first photograph that I’d seen of hers,
Flashes before my eyes making me rejoice…

I don’t know whether she even exists,
Yet my heart can’t fail to dream, with God’s grace,
That I’m standing in the rain, holding her hand,
And, pulling her close to myself in a tight embrace…

It’s Sunday, 5 April 2015, past midnight,
She must be studying for her JEE Mains,
To be held five days later this month,
So, she’s toiling hard though she’s in pain…

She lost her grandmother a few days back,
Just the day before her board examination,
I tried my best to calm her down,
Though she’s broken, I know, losing her inspiration…

She’s studying now to distract herself,
From the pain that’s tearing her heart,
Oh how I wish I could just be with her now,
Being the shield before her, protecting her from the painful darts…

I walk through the drizzle that soothes my nerves,
While a familiar message tone rings,
I quickly check out the notification on my phone,
Hoping she’s replied, just like every night she pings…

It’s her message; my heart skips a beat,
I run back to my room logging into Gmail,
I reply to her on Hangout that I’m online now,
Waiting for her reply to my message trail…

She says tired, she wants to talk,
I reply I hope I’m not disturbing,
She smiles in reply assuring me otherwise,
While I’m trying to resist confessing…

I don’t know why I typed that out,
That, I’ve seen her never, heard her voice never,
Yet deep down in my heart I genuinely feel
For her to the extent I’ve felt, till date, never…

I tell her that she’s the best friend I’ve got,
That I like her more than anything old or new,
Crossing my fingers, gathering my strength,
I type out, “I love you…”

I wait for her, it’s five minutes past one,
I regret having confessed and being so impetuous,
I hope she won’t stop talking to me,
While I wait for her reply, my tension rising continuous’…

I’m scared to stare at my laptop screen,
I’ve made a blunder, I know,
She won’t reply ever again,
She will reject my company and far she’ll go…

Just then my laptop screen flashed with life,
While I was regretting and saying aloud, “What did I do?”
When I looked up with a heavy heart,
My heart stopped beating altogether as her reply read, “I love you too…”

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You’re there…

When darkness surrounds my fluttering heart,
When my shallow breath becomes hollow,
When the arrows hit the bull’s eye in the game of darts,
Piercing my skin, deepening my thick blood’s flow,
Like I’m the board on which mercilessly is aimed,
Every criticism mankind has heard ever,
A fresh set of warm tears flowing untamed,
Down my withering face that once was soaked in tears never…

Yet I stand upright camouflaging the growing pain,
In front of the hypocrites that threaten me insane,
Waiting for the day when I’d be free to go,
To the Land of Joy where yellow roses grow,
And open my eyes after every nightmare,
To heave in sigh because with me, you’re there…

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Let her go…

A pricking pain shot up my blood,
When I saw you at the party last night,
Reminding me of the time gone by –
Of the pain I went through when you were out of sight.

It’s been four years since we’d last met,
It’s been four years since I last heard your voice,
Yet your presence unnerves my brain,
And leaves my heart pondering over my rightful choice.

I’m sure I don’t want to relive my past –
A past full of distrust and betrayal,
But when I saw a glimpse of you last night,
Why did my heart cry out in denial?

I know not why you left me alone
Standing in the piercing rain pricking my skin,
Yet my heart craves to speak to you one last time,
Just to make sure how well you’ve been.

I hope he treasures your cherubic smile,
I hope he knows you well by now,
But, no matter how much he understands you,
I know you crave to confine in my support somehow.

It’s been a long journey, an unmistakable one
Where I’ve learnt a few lesson or so
That no matter how much you love your best friend,
One day, you might have to just let her go…

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