Lost

A few years back, a person had asked me who I was. Considering that he must be joking by asking me such a silly question, I had repliedΒ  sarcastically that it was time for him to consult a doctor after having forgotten my name within two minutes. The man smiled at me and said that he had asked a difficult question to a thirteen-year-old perhaps out of his endeavour to make me stand out in the crowd. I had thought years back that this man was mad!

For the last three years, I have been unintentionally pondering over the question that the man had asked me that day.

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Who am I?

As I spend hours over this question, I come up with the same answer every time – I come up without an answer.

In an effort to live up to the expectations of my family and my teachers, I realise I have lost myself somewhere in the sands of time.
As I don’t have the right to think for myself, I don’t have the right to take my own decisions. As I don’t have the right to take my own decisions, I don’t have the right to speak my own words. As I don’t have the right to speak my own words, I don’t have the to execute my own actions. As I don’t have the right to execute my own actions, I don’t have the right to be humane even though I’m a human being.

Frankly speaking, life has thrown in ample opportunities to mechanize me into a robot. However, in the tug of war between my heart and my brain, my heart fortunately won by inches. Today, my heart has the ability to overpower my brain. Yesterday I was lost among the crowd. Today, that man has made me stand in the forefront by recognizing my inner self.

Thus, today I can say it with pride that I am Strong because I know what it feels like to be Weak.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

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114 Comments

      1. I wasnt talking about finance part yashu . i read your last line which was what i was talking about. Im ceo im bill gates is materialistic. When you say i’m strong ,im leader in my own role, im resilient now that reflects real you.

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      2. Yashika;
        I thoroughly acknowledge your thinking;
        “Wait & watch is the right policy” in some of the situation.
        “Make hay while sun shines”
        Simple meaning of this proverb;
        “To act and work while an opportunity exists; to take action while the situation is favorable”.
        You are smart and intelligent enough to understand the meaning of both the phrases; Do I need to say, whenever you need any moral support, please feel free to contact me( through my blog’s comment section on recent or previous post, I will be there).
        Wishing you all the best………………

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  1. It will be better for Yashu to get out of the house and have “me” time. Because family members tend to make the decision for her out of concern. Because they think it is the best for her. I can understand that completely.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yashika, i dont know your situations and why you dont have rights to execute but i am happy that your heart is winning over ur brain. So from now take suggestions from brain and do what ur heart says. Use both in same direction n u wll b happy. Live fullest and be optimistic.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. At your age, where you stand, what you feel is not abnormal. Parents tend to be overbearing, this is common in our country. But thank god, you don’t have to fend for yourself from the age of 13! We have a strong support system here, and trust me you will understand this as you grow, emotionally and otherwise too. The world is round. Enjoy each phase, and there is always time to do these things later on in life, things you can’t do now.

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      1. I expect something useful out the fruit out there! πŸ™‚ Even it might be ur experience or something u learned, unless I won’t feel any good on it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I told you, you speak from your heart of your experience and it somehow resonates with my experiences as well, and it gives me a learning too ( not only to you)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s good, Hey I thought you wont come here..but u kept blogging and hiding from me πŸ˜› Haha I found out you have been here πŸ˜› I thought u wnt be here for 2 months πŸ™‚ haha

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      1. oh that’s great. in fact last night i din’t read it properly and thought it was some Martian language..now i understood πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey, did you take it serious? lol.. I meant it was joke but not a big one which I am yet to spell out πŸ™‚ you may encounter more than this πŸ™‚ haha

        Liked by 1 person

      3. πŸ™‚ yup words speaker louder than actions? or reverse i dont know haha..you seemed to be a bold and open minded, ambivert..:)

        Liked by 1 person

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